Oddball Consolation. « within my walls

It's been awhile. I can think straight again, only just, and only so limit deep. Deprivation of sleep has become too apparent, sleeping in particular classes is now almost essential. The smallest things now break the train of thought. All subjects have risen. With the exception of English ironically and logically reasoned so. Sense no longer makes sense. The toll is time. Time crushes people, from the inside out. Getting to my feet, I aimlessly get up time and time again. Walking forward, to no apparent goal. Wandering lost, no sign of escape. I write now, because the mind is no longer accepting to listen to everything else. Concentration is crushed. A sense of release may trigger release. I take my chances. Another SAC around the corner, I march on. Words, songs, lyrics all cut so shallow. The shallow wound deepens with every cut at repeated spot. Losing the shine, I drift back into the mindless society of expectation and unindividualism. The facade set up works well – much too well. There is time left for saving. A crucifixion. Stability is solid. Thankfully. 'Project Alice' is progressing seemingly too slow. It keeps me busy. Project Alice may not be complete in time. Rubix cube is yet to be half taught, origami yet to be practised, hand and eye coordination still not attempted, handwriting not improved. Project Alice has a long ways to go. At least the new factors keep me on track. Turns out Project Alice is influential. Unlikely Project Alice will surpass me anytime yet, it'll be a success once it does. Too soon will hibernation be required. I have no idea where my limits are, but even so this is taking it's toll on all. Normal people say they would've died by now. How do I do it? I do not know. Only willpower alone drives me. The body now resigned, sleep a privilege.  Slowly the world spins, yet I am not moving. Daily the sun shines, yet I am not enlightened. "I rather not be the sun that brightens up your day. I rather be the moon that shines down on you on your darkest hour." Yet for there to be a moon, I need a sun. A star in the vast sky. Unfortunately, a planet needs an energy source to be sustained. Even if temporarily. Maybe I'll listen – for the moment. Blood tends to boil now at the sense of righteousness, often getting lost in the process. I seek . I search. I wait. I wonder. The ramblings and heavily concentrated condense thoughts of a mere child, should be just ignored. The mind too free, no longer shackled. A new beginning, or something more? Share this: